Sound Bytes
by waffleman1314
Summary: Morty Williams interviews some of the characters of Phineas and Ferb, but it turns out to be a huge disaster. One-shot. A/U.


***Written in script format minus visual cues for better effect. Use your imagination to throw in the visuals. It's more fun that way, anyways. Although I can't promise that your mind will stay in the K or T range, so…if it's M rated in your mind don't tell me.* -AJ ThaPlatypus**

* * *

_Morty Williams and Phineas_

MORTY: Ah, welcome to the Morty Williams Show, Phineas Flynn! It's so nice to have you here with us this morning.

PHINEAS: And it's a pleasure to be here, Mister Williams.

MORTY: Oh, please! Don't be so modest! Well, today on our show, we will be interviewing the cast of your hit T.V. series _Phineas and Ferb_.

PHINEAS: Interesting…should I go by Vincent, then…?

MORTY: Who's Vincent?

PHINEAS: You know…I forget.

MORTY: Anyways, you build large, dangerous, and fun items in your backyard every day of summer and occasionally on other days to make every day count. Is your sister, Candace, right to think that you need to be stopped?

PHINEAS: Well, that's a weird question. But I'd have to say no. I wish she would just come and join us sometimes, you know? It's no fun if she's always trying to get me in trouble for stuff. It's not even dangerous- hey! That's a loaded question, you called our inventions dangerous!

MORTY: Ah, you said 'our.' You don't leave Ferb out of anything, do you?

PHINEAS: No, no I don't. Ferb and I are two peas in a pod, yin and yang, mac and cheese, P.B. and J., ketchup and-

MORTY: Okay, I get your point, kid. So you would never consider breaking away from Ferb at any point in your life and doing your own show? Your name _does_ come first in the title, after all.

PHINEAS: Hmm, so it would seem. But everyone knows that Ferb is awesome, there's no show without Ferb! I mean, yeah, okay, I guess I'm cool, but taking out Ferb is like separating Edward and Bella-

MORTY: O-kay…that was an awkward analogy.

PHINEAS: Um, I mean…separating…Perry from his fedora?

MORTY: So you're a _Twilight_ fan?

PHINEAS: What?! No, no! It was an analogy, man! Aw, no, no! That's for girls and Perry!

MORTY: So you're telling me that Perry is a Twihard?

PHINEAS: Did I say Perry? I meant…Pinocchio.

MORTY: Pinocchio?

PHINEAS: Yes.

MORTY: If you insist…so, how are your interactions with Perry off-set?

PHINEAS: Um, well, another weird question. And it's loaded, too!

MORTY: Kid, you need to step away from the interviewing textbooks, who gave those to you anyways?

PHINEAS: It's actually a list of fallacies from Advanced Placement English 11! You are so caught! And AJ gave them to me. Besides, she's taking classes that are involved in mass communications studies, do I need to break the fourth wall and break you?

MORTY: Next question- what are your thoughts on Isabella?

PHINEAS: She's cute.

MORTY: That's it?

PHINEAS: Well, to be honest, Mister Williams, I don't think she wants me. She'd seem interested in me if she was, wouldn't she?

MORTY: You are so oblivious…

PHINEAS: How?

MORTY: Can I get the next interviewee out here?

PHINEAS: I see what you did there…

MORTY: Ladies and gentlemen, Phineas Flynn!

_Morty Williams and Ferb_

MORTY: Welcome to the set, Ferb Fletcher, how are you?

FERB: …

MORTY: Okay, a man of few words, I see. Can you answer at least one or two questions for me?

FERB: …

MORTY: Um, okay…why are you so quiet?

FERB: I'm thinking.

MORTY: Care to explain?

FERB: …

MORTY: How about if I ask- how does it feel to be in Phineas' shadow, hmm? You're the second-hand man. Phineas gets all the lines. Isabella adores him. He gets all of the credit. More focus is put on him. His name is always said first. How does that make you feel?

FERB: Ph-Phineas is my brother. He doesn't steal the show; h-he appreciates my more reserved personality.

MORTY: Mm-hmm, sure.

FERB: Listen, Morty Williams! I could dislike the attention he gets all my life, but I'd never turn my back on him! He might very well steal the show, and if he does, I could care less! He enjoys the attention, and I don't! Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to get a latte with Phineas. And stop asking loaded questions, it'll just make you look devious.

MORTY: Uh, the fabulous Ferb Fletcher, everyone? Can we get another interviewee, he just left?

_Morty Williams and Isabella_

MORTY: Ah, Isabella Garcia-Shapiro, so nice to have you with us tonight!

ISABELLA: I see you ticked off Phineas.

MORTY: Don't you mean 'tipped,' my dear?

ISABELLA: No, I meant what I said; he was turning over tables before Ferb took him out for a latte. So let's not make this hard.

MORTY: Well, I think you misinterpret my interviewing questions. Let's start off easy, shall we? What do you think of Phineas? Is the flirtatious attitude just for the show? Are you toying with his feelings, but really are crushing on Ferb?!

ISABELLA: Ferb? What?! No! I adore Phineas! He and I will have five kids one day.

MORTY: That's awfully specific.

ISABELLA: Is that a problem? I have the Fireside Girls at my ready. All I have to do is send the signal and you'll be wishing you'd never interviewed Isabella Maria Elizabetha Cruz Caraballo Garcia-Shapiro!

MORTY: Wow…what a name…

ISABELLA: Yeah, and?

MORTY: I'm tempted to laugh.

ISABELLA: That's it! GIRLS! GET HIM!

GRETCHEN: One!

GINGER: Two!

ADYSON: Three!

HOLLY: Four!

MILLY: Five!

KATIE: Attack!

MORTY: Ah! There's a squid on my face!

_Morty Williams and Perry_

MORTY: So, it's nice to have you here-

PERRY: Dude, what happened to your face? And your clothes? And your-

MORTY: The Fireside Girls were here and- hey! Focus! Focus!

PERRY: Serious Fireside Girls…

MORTY: Anyways, how does it feel to be a part of the B-plot?

PERRY: Oh, is that what you wanna know? Hmm, well Doof is just a Doof, I mean he starts improving and I have to just sit and listen, why? Because 'platypuses don't talk, Mister Flynn-Fletcher!' Ugh, I can't say what I'm thinking, I don't get to comment, and I don't even get lines besides the usual! And c'mon- super heroes get girls! Don't I count as super?

MORTY: That's nice, Perry, but-

PERRY: Spiderman gets the girl, Superman gets the girl, the Hulk at least had a girl, girls went gaga over Iron Man, and let's not forget Thor! But does Agent P get a girl? A-no.

MORTY: I didn't ask if you wanted a girl…

PERRY: Admit it! You're lonely, too! Millions of fan-girls out there- yes, I love you ladies, each and every one of you- and I don't have a girlfriend! What about you, Morty? Why didn't they give you a girl? Jeremy gets Candace, Baljeet got a kiss, Doof has had multiple girlfriends, Buford has a French love, and Isabella thinks Phinny's a hunk- but do we get girls? A-no.

MORTY: This is not about me, I don't have to answer.

PERRY: But we all know you're compelled to. Do you have fan-girls, Morty Williams?

MORTY: What kind of question is that?!

PERRY: An innocent one. But you just revealed that you don't. So I totally one-upped you! Oh, yeah! Taken!

MORTY: Can someone get him off set, please?

DIRECTOR: Off the set, Perry! You have ten seconds!

PERRY: Make me!

DIRECTOR: Morty, do the wrap-up while I try to catch this freak.

MORTY: Well, that's it for today's episode of-

PERRY: I love you! You love me! We're a happy family! With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you! Won't you say you love me, too?

MORTY: -The Morty Williams Show. Join us next time to see-

PERRY: Penguins really fly! They really do!

MORTY: -Justin Bieber. I'm Morty Williams, and-

PERRY: Ew! Justin Bieber! I can't touch this floor anymore I'm outa here! Peace!

MORTY: Ah, I knew that would work.

PERRY: Je vais ici, tu vas là, il va, elle va, au cinéma, nous allons, vous allez, au café, ils vont, elles vont, au restaurant !

MORTY: Would it kill you to stop singing the Barney tune? Would it?

PERRY: Yes. That's all folks!

_Scene. Fade to black, roll credits. Okay, not really. He, he. _


End file.
